Love Hate Love

It’s been a while since I last blogged. I can’t exactly remember the last time I actually had time for my own personal indulgence. I love writing and somehow that’s the best method I used to express myself.

I’m not really good with conversation that involves explanation as my mind tend to work faster than my gap. And I get pretty impatient when I had to repeat myself. Oh well everybody has their fair share of flaws isn’t it? If you think you don’t then perhaps it’s time you did some self reflection.

Anyway here goes…

Perhaps it’s a masculine thing to want to be popular among our female counterparts. It’s like an ego booster when you know or you are being associated as a lady’s man. The guy whom every lady wants to be seen with or even to be in bed with. There’s nothing with feeling that way to be downright honest.

I have friends who boast about their god given ability to lure women into their arms with lots of sweet nothings and promises of eternalized love. And how popular they are whereby girls worship them like idols or the ultimate alpha male.

I remembered a few years ago I attended a church session. I’m neither a Christian nor a catholic. The reason why I was there is basically because I was told there were gonna be tons of girls there. Yes I was that cheap. Blame it on my testosterone…

Anyway there was a statement made by a pastor that made me what I am today. Ok maybe not exactly but close. And these was roughly he said…

“Most men thinks they are the alpha male when they can satisfy more than one woman in a lifetime… But a true man is one who can satisfy only one woman in a lifetime…”

I was astounded by that statement. Why?

It’s known that women are creatures of emotions and their mood swings faster than you can say Obama. Hence it’s pretty hard or close to impossible to make one woman stay happy always. But if you are able to do that then my dear readers please share with me how the hell did you manage to do that? Or perhaps you are just suffering from schizophrenia.

And it’s normal for men to just give up when it comes to a point we know we can no longer make that woman happy. And what do we do? We go on a search for another where we can give it another go at it. Or start to fool around with other women so as to inject self proclaimed theory that you are able to satisfy a woman and you are a true man. But that doesn’t last long before she starts going Miley Cyrus on you.

One thing I learn is sometimes happiness doesn’t really have to be all rainbow and butterflies everyday. A bit of drama sometimes does more good and harm to a relationship. Women loves drama in a relationship. But of course scandal drama not included.

How to keep your woman happy?

1. Have a little argument once a while. An argument is like diarrhea where it purges all the negativity in a relationship. And once it’s over you feel great again. Just don’t do it obsessively. Settle the argument with a solution that works the best for both parties and stick with it.

2. Be agreeable. Agree with everything she complains about. Yes I know sometimes they can be illogical but there’s one thing I discovered about woman. They can turn all nasty and bitchy when they are at it. However if somebody starts to agree with their ridiculous emotional logic, their maternal instinct start to kick in where they will go…
“Maybe they are not that bad… Maybe I was too sensitive… Maybe they meant well…”
Always remember guys… Most woman are fickle minded. So be agreeable and let them decide on how ridiculous their assumption can be sometimes. If you choose to be on the dark side then prepare to face the missile of “why are you defending others?” Or “Are you interested in her that’s why you are defending her?” Or “I thought you are sensitive to my feelings…”

3. Never ever praise another woman in their face. Yes you can do it once or even twice but try doing more than that and you will be sorry. As gracious as women can be, they have a personal storage bank in their head that records, analyze and judge everything you say. So if you must praise anybody, let not be it another woman or simply do it sparingly.

4. Show them you can get jealous too. Woman enjoys it when their man make a big fuss over another man. This is like their version of pop up notification of my man loves me and I’m important to him. But as usual… Sparingly. Too much makes you look weak.

5. Always! Yes always be firm when you want to get something across. The way a female process information maybe different from us. It’s better to get proper information across than to end up blaming each other after that. Communication is important dear friends.

6. Do female things with her. Who says man can’t do the dishes, clean the toilet, make breakfast, do the laundry…? Ok maybe once in a while… What women wants sometimes is just a bit of appreciation. Share the load guys.

7. Be a clown. Lose that ego. Trust me they will love you for that. Be a dork or even be a kid at times. Let them be the adult. They will love to be able to make the decisions once a while.

There are tons of things you can do to make your lady happy. The question is can you do it? And if you can… How well can you do it? How long can you do it?

Oh well that’s about it…

Goodnight and leave me a comment… Make me happy 😉

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Dear Dad (late post)

“The greatest gift i ever had came from god is My Father.”

Every man needs a role model and most of the time it’s his dad. It had been more than a decade since I lost that fatherly figure which most still has.

Oh well whatever it is, life goes on… Although he is not around I still bear his life lesson in mind. And those teachings are going to be the only legacy he left behind…

Just a random thought…

Life had been pretty hectic lately and the only time I have all to myself is when I take a poo. (True story)

As I was trying my best to clear my body off yesterday load, the word ‘gracious’ came to my mind. And no… I don’t know why. It definitely had nothing to do with what I was doing.

It just seems that the society that I lived in has somehow a lack in that aspect. Why do I say so? Let’s talk about the increasing foreign talents we currently have in my country. Each of them bringing with them their own culture and habits where some are just not to our cup of tea.

Example 1:
A lady foreigner with unkempt armpit hair growth. Think of the reaction of our locals when they spot one.
Local: “omg armpit mo… So disgusting…”
But how many of us actually find out why they actually kept it and doesn’t show any uneasiness showcasing it when they lift their arm like it’s their prized possession?
Honestly I went up to ask before and I was told it was for luck. As outrageous as it sounds, were anyone of us gracious enough to accept that fact?

Example 2:
Two middle aged foreign talent men holding hands with each fingers interlocked… And the reaction?
Local: “Eeee gay….”
I’m sure many of us had witness that as it’s far more common then spotting a lady with armpit hair. But how many of us were gracious enough as to not judge and understand that could be their culture? I mean they were not like banging each other from behind right? Don’t u used to hold your brothers n friends hand when you were younger? Ya most probably u will say “We were kids what!” But think about it when was the last time u show some brotherly love to your own brother just because we are Asian and it is gay!

Enough about FT. Let’s talk about ourselves.

Anyway we used to have campaign on being gracious and all until our mascot retired. And all we talk about are CPF, FT grabbing our jobs / women / land / property and the growth of our population where majority are not locals.

Oh well we can’t exactly blame ourselves when the environment we are living in doesn’t condone any mistakes or new. Like for instance remember the bugger who went around sticking stickers on our traffic light? I honestly find it quite creative but she was convicted of vandalism. Think of those people who got the balls to speak up for the rights of their people, they were either fine or imprison. Where is the graciousness in that? Why can we practice law and order with an extra spoonful of graciousness?

With an environment where graciousness had somehow extinct and where everybody care more themselves, it is no wonder we are getting more and more stressful. And the funny thing is that it was reported we are going to have a longer life span and all…

Honestly I rather die…

*fart*

Signing off
Deafpoet
Xoxo

Let it be

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Once again proven that sometimes in a relationship the more you care the more shit you gonna get.

I will recommend a ‘let it be’ strategy. How does it works?

1. If your partner doesn’t listen, don’t continue explaining. As she/he might just end up not knowing what are your concerns are even after repeating. Just let it be, as one day when the same shit happen they will get it without you explaining.

2. If your partner keep having bad thoughts about your relationship, let it be. As nobody can convince her/him that everything is going to be fine but themselves. Explain once and let it be.

3. If you don’t feel important in the relationship, let it be. As most probably she/He won’t understand even if you keep repeating how you feel. You will only sound needy and desperate. I always believe the tide will always change. They will end up needing you more one day. And it’s your choice if you wanna give a fuck.

4. If your partner only thinks about herself/himself, let it be. As one day when you start behaving like them, they will understand but probably by then you will start to love yourself more than anybody else.

5. If your partner can never agree to something you need or pretend to agree… Let it be… As long as the understanding is not there the problem still lies. Just let it be if things are not resolve, as sometimes you can’t exactly make everybody agree you. Let them think what they want. As sometimes human being only agrees when shit happens and when they get burned.

6. Go out more with your friends so you won’t turn into a needy freak. As not everybody intends to spend every single day with their partners. So get a life like when you are single. So when she/he is not free… Let it be… Meet your friends and buddies… Just make sure you have a life of your own.

7. If your partners enjoy bringing her whole family along whenever you guys are out and preaches about if you love me you have to love my family, let it be… Just learn to avoid graciously if you are not that kind of person. As mention above… Get a life. So when he/she need to bring along her whole family, once a while you can go chill with your buddies as an excuse.

8. Always remember anybody can one day leave you or abandon you. But never your family. So love your family more than anybody and I mean anybody not related by blood. So when shit happens you can just let it be as you know you have your whole family backing you up.

9. When your partners has more opposite gender friends, let it be. Sometimes the more you give a shit, it just makes things worst. Just let it be. And remind yourself that you had already gotten what you need. But if you haven’t… Let it be… As the let it be attitude will get you laid… Most of the time baby…

10. Relationship comes and goes. If it stays good for you… But if it doesn’t… Let it fucking be… Why waste your time brooding over it and mess up your life isn’t it? So let it be…

*This post is not inspired by the Beatles*

In conclusion… Relationship is all about sex and more sex. Any good out of it is marriage. So don’t stress yourself over it. Let it be.

Signing off
Deafpoet

This funny thing call Love…

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“Even if I had to die a hundred time and cross a thousand realms… I will oblige just so to fulfil my promise of eternalised love with you…” Deafpoet

The funny thing about love is that it may happen anytime, any place or with anyone while you least expect it. If Cupid does exist and not just a mere Greek myth then Cupid is definitely a son of a gun. I mean he is a toddler armed with a bow and arrow with the ability to make two complete strangers or two person fall for each other. And what do a toddler know about love and why is he even given such ability in the first place? And with a name that rhythms with stupid, no wonder a person normally does irrational things which their normal rational self won’t perform.

There are times your mind somehow rationally tells you that you and your partner will never work but your heart emotionally tells you that it might just work. And all you need is time for the feeling to grow stronger. But to be honest the mind often triumph over the heart. I mean its pretty logical when its the mind that gives signal to the heart to pump blood all over all body. So the mindset of a couple somehow controls the fate of their relationship. I mean I have seen a number of friends who broke up even though they still have feeling for each other. It’s like yeah I still love you but we are not suitable to be together.

Looking in another aspect, one can be so deeply in love with the other but somehow their rational side tells them it’s better not to get involve as it might wreck the existing friendship which you might have cultivated. But the thing is, this is the part where your heart comes into control. It hurts when she talks about guys. It hurts when she no longer contact you as often. It hurts when you don’t see her often ever since you tried to convince your mind and heart that you both are not suitable and it’s best to remains as friends. You try to stay away from her existence thinking that it might heal that heartache which you are experiencing. This is the scenario where your mind starts to go bonkers and start thinking of ways to heal your heart back to normal.

As complicated as it may sound, love can be pretty simple. It is us who wants to make a drama out of everything. But then again what is love without a little drama? And yours truly me is guilty of such unnecessary drama. I tend to stay away from girls who I think might just work out. The reason is because I tend to let the rational side of me get the better of me. I will think of all the worst scenario that might happen.

1. She might hate me on the long run…
2. If we were to break up I might never see her again…
3. Either of us might get hurt through this relationship…
4. And the whole nine yards of worthless speculations…
5. She might not see me as somebody who will work out with her… The big rejection…

Sometimes rationality might lead you through a trail of absurd speculations without you even taking the first step. And you start to focus your attention on relationships with someone whom you don’t mind losing in the short or long run. The winner is always the one who has nothing lose and you hope to always be on the winning streak. But that mindset will mean you will never have a taste of having somebody you truly love and will try means and ways to keep her by your side. And once again I’m guilty of that.

I have friends that kept telling me that all I need is to find somebody that I love more than she loves me. And by doing so, I will have a fear of losing her and I will do anything to keep her by my side. And correct me if I’m wrong… But women most of the time just need assurance from their partner and the rest are just bonus. The thing about most women is that when they agree to start a relationship with you their mind and heart somehow are accustom to just focus on you. Hence most of the time women have the most to lose in a relationship.

So guys if you think that you might have found the one girl whom you think you will treasure forever…just go for it. No one can be a winner forever. Sometimes you have to lose to be a true winner. I used to believe that in a relationship the one who love the least normally wins on the long run. It does makes sense as when its over, you might not get hurt as much as the other party. But have you truly try your best to make it work? I’m pretty sure you didn’t. And you end up being alone again. Why not take a gamble…?

If you love her, gasp that opportunity before it slip away. Throw away your ego & pride and give it a shot. Even if it doesn’t work out, stay as friends as you never know she just want to be convinced that you are the one before she take the plunge. Like I said previously it takes more for a woman to give her heart and life to you than a man.

Think about it…

Signing off
Deafpoet
Xoxo

“I am a narcissists and yes I love myself…but that’s only because I see you in myself…” Deafpoet

This christmas changed my life

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The whole of December opened up my eyes on things which I always thought will never happen. I was brought up in a family who preach about doing good to others and good karma will come to you. But then again I’m only human hence I can be kinda evil in my choice of words when it comes to things that I don’t see eye to eye. But as I mature I realize sometimes it’s better to live and let live.

I learn the 5 Bs in life. Be gracious always. Be sincere. Be grateful. Be generous. Be modest.

Be gracious:
One must understand not everybody shares the same traits or upbringing. So if you happen to see something which you deemed is wrong in terms of your own principle, be gracious and accept it. As they always say one man meat may be another man poison.

Be sincere:
Always be sincere in whatever you do. It’s pretty easy to spot a person who is truly sincere in helping you and another who did it purely because of their own benefit. Even if they managed to pull it off once or twice, eventually it will be too obvious not to notice.

Be grateful:
It’s true that your family members will always stand by you through thick and thin. It’s rare to find one who has no blood connection to be just as nice. But as rare as it can be, there bound to be a few. Be glad and grateful for all they have done for you. As it’s not everyday somebody of non kinship will back you up in times of crisis. If they can forgo their own benefits in exchange for your benefits, why can’t you do the same? So be grateful.

Be generous:
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Offering help doesn’t cost a cent. Perhaps your time and effort. And in exchange you earn a friend. Having one more friend is better than having one more foe. You never know when will you need that generosity from someone. But then again even if you don’t get anything in return, don’t despair. At least you know you did somebody a favor.

Be modest:
Nobody is the best in anything for long. Everybody learns from somebody. And everyday there bound to be somebody who will excel better than you. So be modest when complimented. Don’t get big headed just because of a mere achievement. As success can come and go. Although It takes intelligence to achieve something great but it takes hard-work to maintain that success.

Oh well that’s just my two cents worth of thoughts on life.

Anyways I hope you had a great christmas. I know I did… I had my share of joy and not forgetting that dash of depression that still reside in me. Life goes on…

Goodnight people…
Ps: 对不起。。。我玩不起。。。

Signing off
Deafpoet
Xoxo

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2 days before X’MAS…

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Christmas a time of happiness and joy. A time where everybody goes into the giving and caring trend. A time where family and friends gather to feast. Christmas to me is a mixture of feelings. I can’t exactly say that I’overwhelmed with joy. Somehow there is a pinch of heartache within me.

Christmas is basically a time where against my own free will I had to start reminiscing about the past. For those of you who knows me well will know I’m a workaholic. I wasn’t born a workaholic but circumstances had evolve me into this state. I work to tired my mind so I can sleep easily at night.

Even at work I try not to involve myself into office politics as it doesn’t do me anything good except giving me more things to think about. So I’m sorry if I don’t get affected after listening to your list of unfairness you think the company is giving you.

Anyway back to Christmas…with the passing on of my dad Christmas had never been enjoyable to me. The same goes for all the other festive occasion. It just somehow reminds me of those days where everything was still simple. Waking up early in the morning to find presents beside my bed. Mom and dad will in the kitchen preparing a feast for the guest that will be coming over for the annual Christmas celebration.

And now all I have left are memories… Can’t really celebrate with the gang as that will mean leaving my mom alone at home… Life just doesn’t seem the same anymore…

Oh well looking at the bright side at least I still have my mom with me and of cause not forgetting my pesky younger brothers. I don’t mind being the only one who accompany my mom while my brothers enjoy themselves with their own programmes. I mean that’s the least I can do being the eldest among the three of us.

Whatever it is… It’s Christmas… Enjoy yourselves people… Have a good one… Good times doesn’t exactly last forever… But at least it happened…

Good people come and go… Love them… Treasure them… Respect them… As they will one day turn into memories… But at least they came into your life and show you that there is love in this world…

Good night and sleep well

Signing off
Deafpoet
Xoxo

Ps: Miss you dad… I really do…

Take a risk

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Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither.
This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either.
Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal. Now is your time.
Walk closely with people you love. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned.
Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep travelling honestly along life’s path.

Love me love me not

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Love. A four letter word that sometimes cause us so much misery and yet most of us can’t live without it. If you think you can live without it, stop lying to yourself. I’ve been through the ‘I don’t need love’ phase and returned an empty vessel.

I once heard Miss is a word most often used in a love letter rather than the word Love itself. Whatever that means it just sound so sad. My interpretation is that one often miss the feeling of love more than loving their partner when they are together. True?

I guess we human can somehow get too complacent after attaining a certain goal we have in mind. History has so much documentation on that. Since young we were told Rome is not build in a day, but somehow the destruction of it somehow didn’t even need a day. Therefore what I have learnt in life is that although it might take 99% of hard work to get to where you are now in terms of status or in a relationship but to hold on to that it might take you more than 99% just to maintain. Perhaps 110% or more. Always remember the phrase ‘The higher you climb the harder you fall’.

Oh well life is as such. Life… another four letter words which somehow is the main reason why we are doing what we do. The reason why we wake up in the morning, the reason why we love and the reason why we work so hard. So live life to the fullest my friends. Life’s span is as short as it looked when you realize how much it had passed you by.

Whatever it is… don’t let the last four letter words on your death bed be FUCK… 🙂

Dreams aren’t reality

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Dreams and reality… two realms which sometimes we wish one is the other. Don’t get it?

Imagine you are living in a huge mansion with the pacific ocean as your balcony backdrop. Every morning you will wake up to the best sun rise in the world and be greeted by the most breathtaking sunset. And you had married the girl of your dream and had two fabulous kids. And at the garage you have all your favourite cars parked. From maserati to ferrari in different model and colours. And you have almost nothing much to worry about…

Now imagine the alarm clock rings and you realize it was all a dream… wishing it was real…

Another scenario would be imagine you walked into your office and realize that you had single handedly clinch a million dollar deal. No wait… make it that you had lost a million dollar instead. Don’t you wish that alarm clock will ring and wake you up telling you that it was just a dream.

What are some 0f the dreams you wish it was reality and what are those you wish it was just a dream? Share with me people 🙂